Eggs

December 30, 2011 § Leave a comment

Fun Fact: There is such a thing as nutritional yeast flakes.

I know this because I now own them. I am not sure what they are used for, but they are in pretty much every recipe of the vegan cookbook I’m using. There are also such products as egg replacer powder, coconut milk creamer, and vegan hamburgers. These things are all in my kitchen.

We went shopping yesterday in preparation for the new year. My mom and sister have decided to go on this food adventure as well, so we all went halfsies on certain products (see above) in order to save some money. Because one aspect of this journey that should be documented is that this stuff is Pricey. It also took twice as long because of having to label read everything, like some crazy obsessive crackpot. Trying to weed out all milk derivatives AND nut products (allergy) was an adventure. I was That Guy in the aisle in front of you blocking all the oatmeal products frantically searching labels for caseinate or whey. I hated myself just a little bit.

Also in preparation for this exciting new month, I had pizza and cheesecake for supper last night. Just because I still can. (After typing that sentence I googled vegan cheesecake. I think maybe I’ll just forgo this over the next month.)

But, I digress. I am now (semi) prepared. 1.5 days and counting…

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Wait

December 28, 2011 § Leave a comment

I don’t like to wait

I like plans. I like forging ahead. I like it when things happen.That’s why I make lists. And calculations. And countdown calendars.

In 7 months, 1 week, and 1 day I’ll graduate. In 300 days I’ll take my boards.

I think part of the problem is these things have to be planned. It’s hard to get out of that mentality, when for the past 5.5 years I’ve had to make plans in order to succeed. If I don’t plan and schedule, I miss the boat. But at what point does that become a detriment to the rest of your life?

I can feel something inside me telling me to slow down. Telling me to enjoy life where it is. I make too many plans, countdown the days of my life, focus too much on one single event that I think will make me happy. And then it doesn’t. I pass my test, then begin planning my study session for the next one. I sign a lease for my first apartment, and begin searching the internet for new homes.

Life just happens. It does. I’m not knocking timelines or goals. These are good things, that have carried me through 5+ years of college, put money into my savings account, and gotten me through every big event thus far in my life. But, I’ll say it again. Life just happens. And if I constantly wish for the next big thing to happen to me, I miss the present.

And the present is pretty. darn. good. When I can sit on the couch and talk with my family, life is good. When my husband and I can take a trip together, life is good. When I can call my best friend anytime I want, life is good. When I can come home to my own place, buy my own food, and love a good man, life is good.

And I’m missing it. When I bury myself in dreams, I miss it.

Someday I’ll buy a house. Someday I’ll have some babies. Someday I’ll have a great job. I will graduate. I will take (and pass!) my board exams.

But right now, I need to live in my right now.

So New Year’s Resolution # 2: Live in the present.

Beginning

December 28, 2011 § Leave a comment

So I’m attempting to become vegan

I’m not sure why. I think this is one of those things that happen when I have too much spare time. I form this idea in my head of how I should better myself, and make lofty goals. And then I start school/clinical again and find that I don’t have the resolve I once had. This is why I asked for a sewing machine for my birthday in September (after summer break) and still don’t know how to use it.Image

However…I’m resolved to attempt this. Mainly because I want to see if I feel any better. Lately i’ve felt sluggish. Granted, my exercise level has decreased drastically with the beginning of the colder weather. Hopefully this will pick back up with my gym access when I get back to school.

But I shall chronicle this probable disaster here. I’ve prepared in the only way I know how: google. I’ve decided that with extra vitamin intake and a general meal plan, I probably won’t become anemic and die. Which is always a good thing. But i’ll keep you updated.

But, in summary, New Year’s Resolution #1: Become Vegan.

Resolve

December 27, 2011 § Leave a comment

This year, with a little effort and elbow grease I will:

1. Take written comprehensives

2. Complete 2 clinical internships

3. Graduate

4. Take boards

5. Find a job

I am appropriately freaked out about this. 2012 is BIG. And it’s coming whether I am ready or not. So I am resolving to be ready. Obviously, by preparing for my tests and internships in any way I can. But mostly, mentally.

Change is hard. I don’t like change, as a given rule. And yet, it sneaks up on you anyway. And, if the past is any indicator, I don’t handle change very well. With change comes worry, and with worry comes freaking out and with freaking out comes a loss of joy.

I’m tired of losing my joy.

I think as Christians, we are called to live in the fullness of joy. I don’t mean that every moment of our lives will be filled with rainbows. But I do mean that there should be less freaking out and more giving thanks. More moments of peace and less turbulence. And I AM NOT a philosopher, a bible student, or a pastor. But I feel called to make a change. I am not living in the fullness of God’s joy, I am not living a life full of the joy of the Lord.

So I welcome 2012 as a time of personal growth. Less worry, more faith. More time with Christ, and less with burdens. More self-discovery of what it really means to be a follower of Jesus. And the rest will fall into place. Maybe not where I would have put it, but it will be there.

“Do not grieve, for the joy of the LORD is your strength.” Nehemiah 8:10.

Where Am I?

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